i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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