Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize