You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
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THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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