Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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