My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize