Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
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Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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