But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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