Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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