How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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