I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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