if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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