allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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