Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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