My brain says no but my pants say off.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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