I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize