pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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