i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
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The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
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One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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