return my video game
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize