Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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