You smell like a Billy Joel song
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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