i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize