I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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