1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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