I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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