She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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