Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
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she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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