I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize