Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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