So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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