My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize