Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize