suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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