I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
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can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
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All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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