hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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