my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
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My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
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the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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