"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize