Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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