Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize