She's JV to your varsity
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize