I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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