Barsexuality is the new black.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
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She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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