I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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