There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
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I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
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I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
you never un-have a 4some
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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