By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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