Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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