seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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