I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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