Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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