im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize