if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize